I get some good emails

All hail fleshbags!

With the Bater gone to vacation I don't have much action going on here in the house. I have slowly been working my way through the large gin surplus in the basement and reorganizing The Tristan's "special" movies since he isn't around to hog the television.

I've also had some time to catch up on some of the email's I get at godzilla@newrock1073.com

From: Solomon Hartman [mailto:ElliotrimHumphrey@time.com]
Sent: Tue 1/1/2008 4:42 AM
To: Godzilla
Subject: lowest prices possible rolex


Top quality luxury watches... offered at discount prices!!

Dear Mr Solomon Hartman,

I recevied your kind and generous offer of discount watches. However I should advise you that I, Godzilla, am a GIANT NUCLEAR LIZARD. I doubt that you have a watch that would fit me. Also my nuclear radiation tends to mess up the calibration in almost every watch I've ever been near.

In short, thanks but no thanks,

Godzilla

From: Domenico Rodrigo [mailto:Rodrigokjwd@emazdad.com]
Sent: Tue 1/1/2008 5:23 PM
To: Godzilla
Subject: htorb1


Discreet, and effective - gain 3 inches in just 3 months!


Dear Mr Domenico Rodrigo,

I fear you may need to have a talk with your marketing team. In the New Year many American's strive to lose inches, not gain them. Why on Earth would I want to buck the time honored trend of lying about going on a diet and actually gain inches on purpose?

I am confused by you.
Godzilla

From: Marguerite Smart [mailto:velmpbrokerzof@mpbroker.be]
Sent: Tue 1/1/2008 12:46 AM
To: Godzilla
Subject: Be a hero!


Have a nice holiday!!!
Wish you looked like a hero in bed?
No stuff can support you in the better way than our pharmas!
Purchase only licensed medicines just from our drug-store!!

Dear Ms Smart,

Let me get this straight... your pharmacy sells tights and capes to look more like a hero in bed? Strange thing for a pharmacy to carry, but I suppose multiple purpose stores are becoming all the rage these days. However, I am not in the market for a cape or a pair of tights to sleep in. I find both to be constricting.

Best,
Godzilla