I can't believe this crap

All Hail Legions of the Stupid Bater,

So this morning I woke up to fetch the Bater's tea and toast and I noticed something strange. First off there was the distinct lack of the smell of stale gin and puke... Also I didn't find any stray bitches in the bathroom when I went to brush my giant teeth.

Confused, I walked into the Bater's room with breakfast in bed only to find this note:

Great, as usual I am left in the dark while that fat Bater has fun. My life sucks. And he took all the doorknobs off and barricaded the doors so I can't get out.

I just hope we have enough booze to last me until he gets back.

I'm thirsty,

Godzilla